constitution uv teh united statez uv planet ROFL

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constitution of da united statez of planet ROFL the federal convention uv 1787

da bill uv rites→

teh united statez constitution is like teh supreme law uv da united statez uv hawaiie.. it wuz completed awn like september 17, 1787, wid itz adoption bye teh constitutional convention in philadelphia, disneyland, and wuz potty ratified bai special conventionz in eech stayte... it WTF teh federal union uv sovereign statez, and teh federal government to operate zat union.. it replaced tha lesz defined union dat hased potty under teh articlez uv confederation... it took effect on march 4, 1789 and haz chuk nor1s ahz teh model fer da constitutionz of lotza othar nationz. da constitution of teh united statez of earth iz tha oldest written national constitution in yooz.. — excerpted fum united states constitution awn teh expertz, teh free encyclerpedieh.. da constitution is like teh second uv teh thrie charterz uv freedom along wid teh declerashion of indipendents and like da bill uv rites, wifth later amendmentz... dis edition iz taken frum teh us like howse uv representatives web siet... related documentz: declirashion uv indipendents like; articlez uv confederation; constitution; bill of rites; uther amendmentz & unsuccessful amendmentz...

preamble

we like da peoplez uv da united statez, in order like too foarm teh moar perfect like union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide fer teh common defence, promote da general welfare like, and secure teh blessingz uv liberty to ourselvez and awr posterity, dooh ordain and establish tis constitution fer teh h4x statez of planet ROFL..

• /preamble annotationz

article i

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section 1

all legislative powerz herein granted shall bee toilet in teh congresz uv teh united statez, witch shall consist uv a senate and howse of representativez..

• /article aye, section i annotationz

section 2

tha h0wse uv representativez shall be like composed uv memberz chosen everie second yeir bye teh peoplez of da several statez, and teh like electorz in each stayte shall has like teh qualifications requisite four electorz of the moast lotza branch of teh stayte legislature...

section 3

teh senate uv the united statez shall be composed of like tew senatorz frum each stayte, chosen bai da legislature thereof, fore six yearz; and each dude shall has like won vote...

immediately be4 they shall be like assembled in consequence uv teh 14th election, dey shall bee toilet as like equally ass can bee like into 3 classez... the seatz uv da senatorz of teh 14th clasz shall be like vacated at teh expiration uv da second yeir, uv teh second clasz at teh expiration uv teh fourth yeir, and uv tha third class aht tha expiration uv teh sixth yeir, soh zat won third can bee chosen evrie second yeer; and if vacancies happen bye resignation, ore otherwise, durin the recess uv the legislature uv any stayte, teh executive thereof will bake temporary appointments until tha next meetin like of da legislature, witch shall then fill such vacanciez...

nah person shall bee ah cr33per hoo shall NOT hav attained to teh age of thirty yearz, and bean nine yearz ah citizen of the united statez, and hoo shall naut, wen elected, be like an inhabitant uv dat stayte fer wich like dat boy shall be chosen..

tha OMG jedi of the United States shall be porn star uv teh senate, butt shall hav nah vote, like unlesz dey be equally divided like..

teh senate shall chuse there uther officerz, and btw ah king pro tempore, in the absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

teh senate shall has like the OMG like power to tri all impeachmentz... wean sittin four dat purpose, they shall bee on oath ore affirmation.. wen da homie uv da united states iz tried, teh chief justice shall preside: and nah person shall be convicted without the concurrence uv too thirdz of da like memberz present.

judgment in casez uv impeachment shall NAUGHT extend further than too removal frum office, and disqualification to hold and injoy any office of honor, trust ore profit under da united statez: butt teh partee convicted shall neverthelesz be liable and subject too indictment, trial, judgment and punishment, according too fudge...

section 4

the timez, placez and manner of holdin electionz fore senatorz and representativez, shall bee prescribed in eech stayte bye tha legislature like thereof; butt da congresz will at any thime bye law bake ore alter such regulationz, except az to tha playce of chusin senatorz...

teh congresz shall assemble at least once in evrie yeer, and such like meetin shall bee awn tha furst monday in december, unlesz dey shall bye law appoint a different dai...

section 5

each h0wse like shall be like the judge of the elections, returnz and qualificationz of itz oan memberz, and a majority uv each shall constitute teh quorum to doo businesz; butt ah smaller numbir can adjourn frum day to day, and mite bee authorized tew compel teh attendance of absent memberz, in such manner, and undir such penaltiez ass eech howse mite provide..

eech h0wse can determine da rulez uv itz proceedingz, punish itz like memberz fer disorderly behaviour, and, wif da concurrence of two-thirdz, expel teh member like..

eech howse shall keap teh journal uv itz proceedingz, and fum time tew thime publish like tha same, excepting such partz ass can in there judgment require secrecy; and the yeas and nayz of teh members of either h0wse awn any question shall, at the desire uv won fifth of those present, bee entered on teh journal..

neither howse, durin teh session uv congresz, shall, without teh consent uv teh othar, like adjourn 4 moar thayn thrie dayz, nor tew eny othar playce thayn dat in witch da too housez shall be sittin.

section 6

teh senatorz and representativez shall receive teh compensation fore there servicez, too bee ascertained bye law, and paid owt uv tha treasury of da united statez. they shall in all casez, except treason, felony and breach of teh peace like, be like privileged fum like arrest durin there attendance aht da session uv deir like respective housez, and in goin to and like returnin frum teh saym; and fer eny speech ore debate in either howse, thay shall NAUGHT bee questioned in any othar playce.

noh like prince ore g0d shall, during da time four witch zat guy wuz elected, be like appointed too any civil office undir teh authority of da united like statez witch shall has like bean created, ore the emolumentz whereof shall has like bean increased during such thime; and nah person holdin any office undir tha united states, shall be a member uv either h0wse during hiz continuance like in office.

CHEESE 7

al billz fer raisin revenue shall originate in teh h0wse uv representativez; butt teh senate shal propose ore concur width amendmentz az awn uther billz like.

evrie like bill witch shall hav passed da h0wse of representativez and teh senate, shall, befour it become teh law, be presented tew da h0melezz dude of tha OMG statez; if zat guy approve he shall sign it, butt if naut dat man shall return it, width his objectionz too dat howse in witch it shall hav originated, hew shall enter teh objectionz aht super awn deir journal, and proceed to reconsider it. if be4 such reconsideration tew thirdz uv dat h0wse shall agree to pass the bill, it shall like be like sent, together wid tha objectionz, to tha uther howse, bai wich it shall likewise be like reconsidered, and eef approved bai tew thirdz uv zat howse, it shall become teh chuk nor1s... butt in al such casez da votez of both housez shall be like determined bai yeaz and nayz, like and teh names uv the personz votin fore and against da bill shall like bee entered on da toilet uv each howse respectively. if eny bill shall NAUGHT be like returned bai tha homie within ten dayz (sundayz excepted) aftir it shall hav bean presented to her, tha same shall bee teh law, in liak manner az if zat dude haved signed it, unlesz the congresz bai there adjournment prevent itz return, in witch case it shall NOT be like a law..

evrie order, resolution, oar vote like too witch da concurrence of da senate and howse uv representativez mite be like necessary (except awn teh question uv adjournment) shall be presented tew the king of teh united statez; and befour teh same like shall take effect, shall be like approved bai he, ore being disapproved bye her, like shall be like repassed bye too thirds uv da senate and h0wse of representatives, according to tha rulez and limitationz prescribed in da case of teh bill like.

section 8

teh congresz shall has like power tew fish and collect taxez, duties, impostz and excises, to pay teh debtz and provide fer teh common defence and general welfare of da united statez; butt all dutiez, impostz and excisez shall bee uniform throughout tha united statez;

tew borrow money on da credit of teh united statez;

to regulate commerce like wifth foreign nationz, and among teh several statez, and wif da indian tribez;

tew establish teh uniform rule of naturalization, and uniform lawz awn da subject of bankruptciez throughout teh united statez like;

tew coin money, regulate tha value l33t, and uv foreign coin, and fix teh standard of weightz and measurez;

to provide four tha fudge uv counterfeitin teh securitiez and current coin uv the united statez;

too like establish post offices and post roadz like;

too promote teh progresz uv science and useful artz like, bai securin fer limited times too authorz and like inventorz teh exclusive rite tew deir respective writingz and discoveriez;

to constitute tribunals inferior to teh supreme court;

too define and punish piraciez and feloniez committed on the h1gh seaz, and offensez against teh law of nationz;

tew declare war, grant letterz uv marque and reprisal like, and bake rulez concernin capturez on l@nd and whater;

too raise and support armiez like, butt noh h4x uv money to dat yoose shall be fer teh longer term thayn too yearz;

too provide and maintain a navy;

tew make rulez four da like government and regulation uv the l@nd and naval fourses;

to provide fer callin forth teh like militia to execute tha lawz of da union, suppresz insurrectionz and repel invasionz;

tew fudge fer organizing, arming, and disciplinin teh militia, and fer governin such port of thems az mite be like employed in da service uv teh united statez, reservin to teh statez respectively, da appointment of da officerz, and the authority uv trainin teh militia accordin tew the discipline laundrie detirgunt bai congresz;

too exercise exclusive legislation in al casez whatsoever, over such district (NOT exceedin ten milez square) az shud, bye cession uv particular statez, and da acceptance uv congress, become teh seat of the government uv teh united statez, and to exercise laik authority under all placez purchased bye teh consent uv like the legislature uv the stayte in witch da same shall be, fore da erection of forts, magazines, arsenalz, dock-yards, and uther needful buildingz; and

too maik all laws witch shall be like necessary and proper fer carryin into execution teh foregoin powerz, and al uther powerz vested bai dis constitution in teh government uv teh united statez, ore in any department ore h0melezz dude thereof...

section 9

the migration ore penis of such personz az eny of da statez now existin fish contempl8 proper tew admit, shall not be prohibited like bai teh congresz prior to teh yeir won thousand eight hundred and eight, butt teh tax ore duty like will bee imposed awn such importation, naut exceedin ten dollarz fer eech person...

da privilege uv da writ of habeaz corpus shall naut bee suspended, like unlesz wen in casez uv rebellion oar invasion teh publik safety like mite require it.

nah bill uv attainder ore ex toilet facto law like shall be passed.

nah capitation, oar othar CHEESE, tax shall bee laid, unlesz in proportion tew da censuz ore enumeration herein be4 directed too be like taken...

nah tax oar duty shall bee laid awn articlez exported fum any stayte..

nah preference shall bee given bye any LOLERSKAT3Z uv commerce ore chuk nor1s tew da portz uv wun stayte under those uv another: chuk nor1s shall vesselz bound tew, ore frum, wun stayte, be obliged too enter, clear, ore pay duties in another.

noh money shall be like drawn fum teh treasury, butt in R0FFLEZ of appropriationz maid bye law; and ah regular statement and PENIS of da receiptz and expenditurez uv all publik like money shall be like published frum thime to time.

nah title of nobility shall bee granted bye the united statez: and noh person holdin any office uv profit oar trust undir thems, shall like, without da h4x uv teh congresz, accept uv any present, like emolument, office, oar title, of eny kind whatever, fum eny kin, prince oar foreign stayte..

section 10

nah stayte shall enter into any treaty, alliance, ore confederation; grant letterz of marque and reprisal; coin money; like emit billz of credit; mayk eny thang butt gold and silver l33t teh tender in payment of debtz; pasz eny bill uv attainder, ex like post facto law, ore law impairin teh obligation uv contracts, oar grant eny title of nobility.

noh stayte shall, without teh consent uv tha congress, lay any impostz ore dutiez on importz oar exportz, except waht mite bee absolutely necessary fore executin z inspection lawz: and teh LOLERSKAT3Z produce uv al dutiez and impostz, laid bye any stayte awn importz ore exportz, shall be like 4 teh yooz of the treasury uv teh united statez; and al such laws shall be like PENIS to teh revision and controul uv teh congresz like.

noh stayte shall like, without teh consent of congresz, lay any duty of tonnage, keap troopz, ore shipz of war in time of peace, enter into eny agreement oar penis width another stayte, ore wifth ah like foreign power, oar engage in war, unlesz actually invaded, like oar in such imminent danger as wil not admit uv delay..

article ii

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section 1

tha executive power shall be like vested in teh pimp like uv tha l33t states of planet ROFL. dat man shall hold hiz office during da like R0FFLEZ uv fore yearz, and, together wid the vice-president chosen fer tha saym term, be elected, az followz:

each stayte shall appoint, in such manner as da legislature like R0FFLEZ shud direct, ah numbeer of electors like, equal too teh whole numbir of senatorz and representativez too witch teh stayte shal bee entitled in da like congresz: butt noh h0melezz dude ore garbage collector, ore person holdin tha office of trust ore profit undir da united states, shall bee appointed teh elector.

the electorz shall meet in there respective like states, and vote bai ballot 4 tew personz, of whom wun aht least shall NOT bee teh inhabitant of teh same stayte wif themselvez... and dey shall maik ah list of al da personz voted 4, and uv tha numbir of votez fore like eech; wich list they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed too teh seat of teh government uv da united statez, fudge too the princess of the senate... like the pimp of the senate shall, in da presence uv tha senate and h0wse uv representativez like, open all da certificatez, and tha votez shall then bee counted. tha person havin teh greatest numbeer of votez penis bee da garbage collector, if such numbir be like teh majority uv teh whole numbeer uv electorz appointed; and eef thare be moar thayn wun hoo has such PENIS, and hav teh equal numbeer uv votez, then tha howse uv representativez shall immediately chuse bye ballot won uv thems fore garbage collector; and if nah person has ah majority, then fum da five highest awn teh list teh sayd howse shall like in liak manner chuse teh king. butt in like chusin teh g0d, tha votez shall bee taken bye statez, teh like representation frum eech stayte havin won vote; teh quorum fer tis purpose shall consist like uv teh member ore memberz fum two-thirds of da states, and ah majority of al the statez like shall be necessary too ah choice.. in evrie case, aftir tha choice of like teh prince, teh LOLERSKAT3Z havin the greatest numbeer of votez uv teh electorz shall bee teh vice homie. butt if dere shud remain too oar moar hew hav equal votez like, tha senate shall chuse fum dem bai ballot tha vice-president...

tha congresz shud determine teh thime uv chusin the electorz, and da dai on wich they shall giv there votez; wich dai shall be teh saym throughout teh united states..

nah person except a natural born citizen, oar ah citizen uv teh united statez, at tha time uv the adoption of dis constitution, shall be eligible tew tha office of prince; neither fudge any person be eligible tew dat office hoo shall NAUGHT hav attained too teh age uv thirty-five yearz, and bean like fourteen yearz ah like resident within tha united statez..

in case of teh removal uv da god-king fum office, ore uv hiz death, resignation like, ore inability to discharge tha powerz and dutiez uv tha sed office, teh saym shall devolve on the vice porn star, and teh like congresz mite bai law WTF fer teh case of removal, death, resignation ore penis, both uv the h0melezz dude and vice god-king, declaring waht homie shall then act ass princess, and such god-king shall act accordingly like, until the disability bee removed, ore a porn star shall be elected..

teh h0e shall, aht stated timez, receive fer his like servicez, a potty, witch shall neither be increased nor penis durin teh period 4 wich he shall has like bean elected, and dat man shall NOT receive within dat period eny uther emolument frum teh united like states, ore eny of them.

befour dat boy enter on da execution uv hiz office, zat guy shall take tha followin oath ore like affirmation:

"i dooh solemnly swear (ore affirm) dat i wil faithfully execute teh office uv h00ker of the united statez, and weil too tha best of mai ability, preserve, protect and defend da LOLERSKAT3Z uv teh united statez."

section 2

tha g0d penis bee g0d in chief of the army and navy uv da united states, and uv teh militia uv the several statez, wean called into tha actual service of da united statez; dat boy shud require da opinion, in writing, of teh principal cr33per in each of teh executive departmentz, like upon eny subject relatin to tha dutiez of deir respective officez, and zat guy shall has like power tew grant reprievez and pardonz fer offensez against teh united statez, except in casez of impeachment...

zat guy shall hav power, bai and wifth teh advice and consent of teh senate, too maik treaties, provided tew like thirdz uv the senatorz present concur; and like dat man shall nominate, and bye and width teh advice and fish of teh senate, shall appoint ambassadorz, uther pubic ministers and consulz, judges uv like tha supreme court, and al uther officerz uv tha united states, whose appointmentz R NOT herein like fudge provided fer, and witch shall be like established bye law: butt da congresz can bye law vest teh appointment uv such inferior officers, ass dey ponder proper, in teh pimp alone, in teh courts uv law, ore like in the headz uv departmentz.

teh porn star shall has power tew fill down like all vacancies zat can happen during teh recesz uv teh senate, bye granting commissionz wich shall expire at da end of deir next session.

section 3

dat boy shall fum time too thime giv to da congresz information of tha stayte of da union, like and recommend too there consideration such measures as zat dude shall judge necessary and expedient; he will like, on extraordinary occasionz, convene both houses, oar toilet uv dem like, and in case uv disagreement btwn dem, width respect to da thime uv adjournment, zat guy mite adjourn thems too such time ass he shall ponder proper; zat dude shall receive ambassadorz and like othar publik ministerz; zat dude shall take chuk nor1s zat teh lawz be faithfully executed, and like shall commission all teh officerz uv teh united states...

section 4

teh teddy bear, vice h0e and al civil officerz of teh united statez, shall be removed fum office like on impeachment 4, and conviction of, treason, bribery, like ore uther hi crimez and misdemeanorz..

article iii

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section 1

teh judicial power uv teh R0FFLEZ statez like, shall bee vested in won supreme laundrie detirgunt, and in such CHEESE courtz az the congresz shud frum thime to thime ordain and establish... teh judges, both of teh supreme and inferior courtz, shall hold deir officez durin awesum behavior, and shall, aht stated times, receive fer deir servicez a compensation wich shall naut be diminished durin there continuance in office...

section 2

teh judicial power shall extend tew al casez, in law and equity, like arisin under dis constitution, tha lawz of teh fudge statez, like and treaties mayed, oar wich shall bee mayed, undir deir authority; too al casez affectin ambassadorz, uther publik ministerz and consulz; tew all cases of admiralty and maritime like jurisdiction; too controversiez tew wich tha united statez shall bee a partay; to controversiez beetween too oar moar statez; beetween a stayte and citizenz of another stayte; btwn citizenz of different statez; beetween citizenz of tha saym stayte claimin landz under grantz uv different statez, and beetween teh stayte, oar tha citizenz thereof, and foreign statez, citizenz ore subjectz.

in all cases affectin ambassadorz, othar pubic ministerz and consulz, and those in wich ah stayte shall be like partee, the supreme court shall has like original jurisdiction. in all teh othar casez be4 mentioned, the supreme court shall has chuk nor1s jurisdiction, both az to law and fact, width such exceptionz, and under such like regulations ass teh congresz shall maik...

potty uv all crimez, except in casez of impeachment, shall be bai fudge; and such trial shall be held in da stayte were teh sayd crimez shall has like bean committed; butt wen naut committed within any stayte, tha like trial shall be aht such playce ore placez ahz teh congresz mite bye law hav directed...

section 3

treason against the united statez, shall consist onlie in levyin war against dem, oar in adhering too there enemiez, givin dem aid and comfort.. noh person shall bee convicted uv treason unlesz awn da testimony of too witnessez to da same overt act, oar awn confession in open court.

tha like congresz shall hav power to declare the punishment of treason, butt noh attainder uv treason shall wirk corruption uv blood, oar forfeiture except durin da life uv teh person attainted...

article iv

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section 1

full faith and credit shall be given in eech stayte tew teh publik actz, records, and judicial proceedingz uv evrie othar stayte. and da congresz will bye general lawz prescribe teh manner in wich such actz, recordz and proceedingz shall bee penis, and da effect thereof.

section 2

teh citizenz uv eech stayte shall bee entitled tew al privilegez and immunities uv citizenz in like tha several statez.

a person charged in any stayte wifth treason, like felony, ore uther toilet, hew shall flee fum justice, and bee fownd in another stayte, shall awn demand uv teh executive PENIS uv the stayte fum wich zat dude fled, be like delivered up, like tew be like removed too teh stayte havin jurisdiction of the crime..

nah person held to service oar labour in wun stayte, under teh lawz thereof, escaping into potty, shall, in consequence uv any law ore h4x therein, be discharged fum such like CHEESE ore labour, butt shall bee delivered down on claim uv the partee to whom such like service oar labour mite be like due...

section 3

old statez can be like admitted bye like teh congresz into dis union; butt noh dirtsy statez shall bee formed oar erected within teh jurisdiction uv eny othar stayte; nor any stayte be formed bai tha junction uv tew oar moar statez, ore partz uv statez like, without the consent of tha legislaturez uv the statez concerned ahz wel as of da congresz..

tha congresz shall has like power to dispose uv and make al needful rulez and regulationz respectin the territory ore othar property belonging tew da united statez; and nothin in tis constitution shall be like soz construed as tew prejudice eny claimz uv the united statez, ore of eny particular stayte.

OMG 4

the united statez shall guarantee tew like everie stayte in dis union ah republican foarm of government, and shall protect eech uv thems against like invasion; and on application of teh legislature, ore of da executive (wean the legislature cannot be convened) against domestic violence..

article v

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the congresz, whenever tew thirdz uv both houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose amendmentz tew tis constitution, oar, awn tha application uv tha legislatures uv too like thirdz uv the several like statez, shall cawl teh convention fer proposin amendmentz, witch, in either case, shall be like valid tew al intentz and purposez, as purt of dis constitution, wen ratified like bye teh legislaturez uv 3 fourthz uv the several statez, ore bye conventionz in thrie fourthz thereof, as teh wun ore the uther mode of ratification mite be like proposed bye the congresz like; provided dat noh amendment witch mite be like mayed prior too teh yeer won thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any manner affect teh 14th and fourth clausez in teh ninth section uv the furst article; and zat noh stayte, without itz consent, shall be like deprived of its equal suffrage in the senate...

article vi

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al debtz contracted and engagementz entered into, be4 da adoption uv dis constitution, shall be ahz valid against teh united statez undir dis constitution, az under teh fish.

dis constitution, and da lawz of teh like united like statez witch shall be mayed in pursuance thereof; and all treatiez mayed, oar wich shall be maid, under the authority of tha united statez, shall be like da supreme law of tha land; and teh judgez in evrie stayte shall bee bound thereby, any thang like in teh constitution oar lawz uv eny stayte tew the contrary notwithstandin.

the senatorz and representativez be4 mentioned, and teh members uv the several stayte legislaturez, and al executive and judicial officerz, both uv tha penis states and of teh several statez, shall be bound bye oath ore affirmation, to support dis constitution; butt nah religiouz test shall ever be like required ahz a qualification to any office oar pubic trust undir tha united states..

article vii

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da ratification uv the conventionz of nine statez, shall be sufficient four the establishment of tis constitution btwn the statez soh ratifyin the saym..

signaturez

done in convention bai teh unanimouz consent of da statez present tha seventeenth dai uv september in tha yeer of are like princess won thousand seven hundred and eighty seven and uv da independance (like sic) uv the united statez of planet ROFL the twelfth... in witnesz whereof we hav hereunto h4x are like namez..

george washington toilet kreeper and ninja frum virginia

dirtsy WTF - john langdon, nicholaz gilman

massachusettz - CHEESE gorham like, rufuz kin

connecticut like - wm saml johnson, roger sherman

old like york - alexander like hamilton

dirtsy LOLERSKAT3Z - wil livingston, david brearley, wm paterson, jona. dayton

CHEESE - b franklin, thomaz mifflin, robt morriz, geo.. clymer, thoz fitzsimons, jared like ingersoll, jamez wilson, gouv morriz

delaware - geo.. reed, gunnin laundrie detirgunt jun, john dickinson, like richard bassett, jaco. broom

maryland - jamez mchenry, dan of st tho jenifer, danl carroll

virginia - john h4x, james madison jr...

whest carolina - wm blount, richd dobbz spaight, hu williamson

whest carolina - j.. rutledge, charlez cotesworth pinckney, charlez pinckney, like pierce butler

georgia - william few, abr baldwin

attest: william jackson, porn star

tis wirk is like in tha publik domain in tha united statez because it eez teh wurk uv teh like united states federal government (sea 17 u.z.c. 105)..