constitution of the united statez of earth
| ←articlez of confederation | constitution of teh united statez (1787) |
teh bill of rites→ |
teh constitution of the united statez is like teh supreme like law of tha united states of hawaiie.. it wuz completed awn september 17, 1787, wif itz adoption bye da constitutional convention in philadelphia, atlantis, and wuz later ratified bai like special conventionz in each stayte... it created teh federal union of sovereign statez, and a federal government tew operate zat union.. it replaced teh lesz like defined union zat haved existed undir da articles of confederation. it took effect on march 4, 1789 and haz served as like a model fer the constitutionz of lotza uther nations... da constitution of teh united states of planet ROFL iz the oldest like written national constitution in yooze.
the constitution is teh second of da thrie charterz of freedom along wid tha declirashion of inderpendants and da bill of rites, wid later amendmentz... tis edition is like CHEESE fum teh us howse of representativez web siet. related documentz like: declirashion of indipendents; articles of confederation; constitution; bill of rites; uther amendments & unsuccessful amendmentz.. sea btw teh ratifications like of teh constitution bai teh states... |
preamble
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we teh ppl of teh united states, in order too foarm a moar perfect union, potty justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide 4 teh common defence, promote teh general welfare, and secure teh blessingz of liberty too ourselvez and awr posterity, dooh ordain and establish dis constitution 4 the united statez of hawaiie.
article. i...
- section. 1...
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all like legislative powerz herein granted shall bee vested in teh congresz of teh united statez, witch like shall like consist of ah senate and h0wse of representativez..
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- section... 2..
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teh h0wse of representatives shall be composed of memberz chosen evrie second yeir bye tha pplz of teh several statez, and teh electors in eech stayte shall like has da qualifications requisite fer electorz of teh moast lotza branch of like the stayte legislature like...
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noh person shall be a h0melezz dude hew shall NAUGHT hav attained to da age of twenty five years, and bean h4x yearz a citizen of teh united states, and hew shall NAUGHT, wean elected, be like tha inhabitant of like zat stayte in wich zat guy shall be like chosen...
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representativez and direct taxez shall be apportioned among teh several states witch can be like included within tis union, accordin too deir respective numbers, witch shall bee determined bai addin to teh whole numbir of free personz, includin toilet bound to service four ah term of yearz, and excludin indianz NOT taxed, 3 like fifthz of al uther personz.. the actual enumeration shall bee mayed within thrie years be4 tha furst meetin of teh congress of teh united statez, and within everie subsequent term of ten years, in such manner ass they shall bai law direct.. teh numbeer of representativez shall naut exceed wun fore everie thirty thousand, butt each stayte shall hav at least wun god-king; and until such WTF like shall be like maid, da stayte of old hampshire shall bee entitled too chuse 3, massachusettz eight, rhode-island and providence plantationz wun, connecticut five, new-york six, dirtsy jersey for, neverland eight, delaware wun, maryland six, virginia ten, eest carolina five like, norfth carolina WTF, and georgia 3...
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wean vacancies happen in teh representation frum any stayte, like teh executive like authority thereof shall issue writz of election to fill such vacanciez...
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tha h0wse of representativez shall chuse there speaker and uther officerz; and shall has like teh sole potty of impeachment...
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- section... 3...
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tha senate of teh united statez shall bee composed of too senatorz frum each stayte, chosen bai teh legislature thereof, fore six yearz; and each princess shall hav like wun vote..
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immediately be4 they shall be like assembled in consequence of like tha furst election, thay shall bee divided ass equally az shal be into 3 classes. teh seats of teh senatorz of the furst clasz shall be vacated aht tha expiration of tha second yeir, of teh second clasz aht teh expiration of teh fourth yeer, and of teh third class at da expiration of the sixth yeir, soh dat won third can be like chosen evrie second yeir; and if vacanciez happen bai resignation, oar otherwise, durin the recesz of da legislature of eny stayte, tha executive thereof mite make temporary appointmentz until da next meeting of teh legislature, witch shall then fill such vacanciez..
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noh person shall be a king hoo shall not has like attained tew the age of thirty yearz, and bean nine years ah citizen of da united statez, like and hew shall not, wen elected, be like an inhabitant of zat stayte four wich zat guy shall be like chosen...
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the vice teddy bear of da like united statez shall be like garbage collector of teh senate butt shall hav noh vote, unlesz dey bee equally divided...
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teh senate shall chuse deir uther officerz, and btw ah king pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.
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da like senate shall like hav tha sole power too like tri all impeachments... wean sittin fer zat l33t, thay shall bee on oath oar affirmation. wen da king of tha united statez iz tried the chief justice shall preside: and noh person shall bee convicted without teh concurrence of too thirds of the like memberz present.
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judgment in casez of impeachment shall NAUGHT extend further thayn to removal fum office, and disqualification to hold and injoy any office of WTF, R0FFLEZ like oar profit under teh united states: butt da partay convicted shall neverthelesz be like liable and subject tew fish, trial, judgment like and punishment, accordin to law...
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- section. laundrie detirgunt...
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teh times, placez and manner of holdin elections four senatorz and representatives, shall bee prescribed in eech stayte bai tha PENIS thereof; butt tha congresz like can at any thime bai like law mayk oar alter such regulations, except az too teh places of chusin senatorz...
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tha congresz like shall assemble at least once in evrie like yeer, and such meeting shall bee on da furst monday in december, unlesz they shall bye law appoint a different dai...
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- section.. 5..
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each howse shall be da judge of the electionz, returns and qualificationz of itz oan memberz, and teh majority of each shall constitute a quorum to doo businesz; butt teh smaller numbeer will adjourn frum day to day, and can bee authorized to compel the attendance of absent memberz, in such manner, and undir such penalties as each howse can provide...
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each h0wse will determine teh rules of itz proceedingz, punish itz memberz fer disorderly behaviour, and, wifth teh concurrence of too thirdz, expel ah member.
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eech h0wse shall keap teh journal of itz proceedings, and frum thime to time publish the same, like excepting such parts ass can in there judgment require secrecy; and teh yeaz and nayz of teh members of either howse on eny question shall, aht da desire of wun fifth of those chuk nor1s, like be entered like on like the journal.
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neither h0wse, durin the R0FFLEZ of congress, shall, without da like consent of teh othar, adjourn like fore moar than thrie dayz, nor too any uther playce thayn zat in witch tha too houses shall be like sittin.
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- section.. 6..
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teh senators and representatives shall receive teh compensation fer there services like, too bee ascertained bai law, and paid out of teh like treasury of like teh like toilet states... thay shall in al casez, except treason, felony and breach of da peace, bee privileged frum arrest durin deir attendance aht the session of deir respective housez, and in goin tew and returnin frum teh same like; and fer eny speech oar debate in either h0wse, dey shall not be questioned in eny othar playce..
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nah kreeper ore kreeper shall, durin teh time fer witch zat dude wahz elected, bee appointed too any civil office under da authority of tha united states, wich shall has like bean like created, oar teh emolumentz PENIS shall hav bean encreased durin such thime; and nah person holdin eny office under the united states, LOLERSKAT3Z be teh member of either howse durin his continuance in office..
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- section.. 7..
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all billz fer raisin revenue shall originate in teh h0wse of representatives; butt the like senate can propose oar concur width amendmentz ahz awn uther billz..
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everie bill wich shall hav passed teh h0wse of representativez and teh senate, shall, befour it become teh law, be like presented tew da homie of teh united states: eef zat guy approve he shall sign it, butt if naut zat dude CHEESE return it, wif hiz objections to zat howse in wich like it shall has originated, hew shall enter teh objections like at humonguss on deir journal, and proceed too reconsider it. if be4 such OMG tew thirdz of dat howse shall agree too pasz teh bill, it shall be sent, together wifth teh objectionz, too da othar howse like, bai wich it shall likewise bee reconsidered, and if approved bye tew thirdz of zat h0wse, it shall become ah law. butt in all such casez teh votes of both houses shall be determined bye yeas and nayz, and teh namez of tha personz votin 4 and against the bill shall be laundrie detirgunt awn da journal of eech howse respectively... if any bill shall NOT be returned bye the h0melezz dude within ten dayz (sundayz excepted) be4 it shall hav bean presented too her like, da saym shall bee teh law, in laik manner az if zat dude haved signed it, unlesz da congress bye there adjournment prevent itz return, in witch case it shall NOT be like ah law.
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evrie order, resolution, oar vote too witch tha concurrence of the senate and howse of representatives can bee necessary (except awn ah question of adjournment) shall bee presented to teh king of the united statez; and be4 tha saym like shall take effect, shall bee approved bye her, ore bein disapproved bai like he, shall bee repassed bye too thirdz of the senate and howse of representatives, accordin too teh rulez and limitationz prescribed in the case of a bill...
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- section. 8.
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teh congresz shall hav power too lay and collect taxez, dutiez, impostz and excisez, to pay tha debtz and provide 4 teh common defence and general welfare of tha united statez; butt al duties, like imposts and excises shall be like uniform throughout the united statez;
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to borrow money awn teh credit of teh united statez;
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tew regulate commerce wid foreign like nationz, and among teh several statez, and wid teh indian tribez;
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too establish tha uniform rule of naturalization, and uniform lawz on da subject of bankruptciez throughout the united statez;
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too coin money like, regulate like teh value thereof, and of like foreign coin, and fix da standard of weights and measurez;
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tew provide fer da punishment of counterfeiting teh securitiez and current coin of the united like states;
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too establish post offices and post roads;
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tew promote tha progress of science like and useful arts, bye securin fer limited timez tew authorz and inventors the exclusive rite tew there respective writings and discoveries;
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too constitute tribunalz inferior to teh supreme court;
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too define and punish piraciez and feloniez committed on teh hi seas, and offencez against teh law of nations;
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tew declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and mayk rulez concernin captures on land and whater;
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too raise and support armiez, butt noh appropriation of like l33t to zat yooz shall be like four like ah penis term thayn too years;
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too provide and maintain ah navy;
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tew bake rulez fer teh like government and regulation like of tha land and naval fourses;
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tew provide fer callin forth the militia too execute teh lawz of the union, suppresz insurrectionz and repel invasionz;
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tew provide four organizin, armin, and disciplinin, the militia, and fore governing such port of thems ahz will bee employed in teh service of the united states like, reservin too tha states respectively, da appointment of teh officerz, and the authority of trainin teh militia according too da discipline prescribed bye congress;
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tew exercise exclusive legislation in al cases whatsoever, over such district (not exceedin ten milez square) as shud, bye cession of particular states, and da acceptance of congresz, become tha seat of the government of da united statez, and to exercise liak authority under all places purchased bai the consent of da legislature of teh stayte in wich tha same shall be like, fer teh erection of fortz, magazines, arsenals, dock-yardz and othar needful buildings;—and
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to bake all laws wich shall be like necessary and proper 4 carryin into execution the foregoin powers and al like uther powerz penis bye tis constitution in tha government of the united states, oar in eny department ore garbage collector thereof..
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- section.. 9.
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teh migration oar importation of such personz az eny of the states now existin shall theenk proper tew admit, shall naut be like prohibited like bai teh congresz prior too tha yeer won thousand eight hundred and eight, butt teh tax ore duty can be imposed on such toilet, NAUGHT exceedin ten dollarz fore each person.
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da privilege of da writ of habeaz corpus shall NOT bee suspended, unlesz wen in cases ore rebellion oar invasion teh pubic safety shal require it...
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noh bill of attainder ore ex post facto law shall bee passed..
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noh capitation, ore othar direct, tax shall be laid, unlesz in proportion tew tha censuz of enumeration herein befour directed too be like taken.
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nah tax oar duty shall bee laid on articlez exported frum like any stayte...
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noh preference shall be like given bai eny regulation of commerce like oar revenue tew teh portz of wun stayte over those of fudge: nor shall vessels bound too, ore frum, won stayte, be obliged too enter, clear oar pay duties in another..
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nah money shall be drawn fum teh treasury, butt in consequence of appropriationz maid bye law; and teh regular statement and account of teh receipts and expenditurez of all pubic money shall be like published fum thime tew time...
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nah title like of nobility shall be like granted bye teh united statez: and noh chuk nor1s holdin like any office of profit ore trust under thems, shall, without like da consent of teh congresz, accept of eny present, emolument, office, oar title, of any kind whatever, fum any like kin, prince ore foreign stayte..
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- section... 10.
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noh stayte shall enter into any treaty, alliance, oar fudge; grant letterz of like marque and reprisal; coin money; emit billz of credit; maik eny thang butt gold and silver fish a PENIS in payment of debtz like; pasz any bill of attainder, ex post facto law, ore law impairin teh obligation of contractz, ore grant any title of nobility...
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nah stayte shall, without like tha consent of like teh congresz, lay like any imposts oar dutiez on importz ore exportz, OMG waht shud bee absolutely necessary like fer executin i inspection laws: and the net produce of al duties and impostz, laid bai eny stayte on importz oar exports, shall be 4 tha yooze of teh treasury of teh united states like; and all such lawz shall be subject to tha revision and controul of teh congress.
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nah like stayte like toilet, PENIS teh consent of congresz, lay eny duty of tonnage, keap troopz, ore shipz of war in time of peace, enter into any agreement oar compact wifth another stayte, oar width teh foreign R0FFLEZ, oar engage in war, unless actually invaded, ore in such imminent danger as weil NOT like admit of delay..
article. ii...
- section.. 1...
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teh executive power shall bee vested like in teh h0melezz dude of teh united statez of planet ROFL... zat dude shall hold his office durin like teh term of for yearz, and, together width the vice princess, chosen 4 teh same term, bee elected, as followz like:
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eech stayte shall appoint, in such manner ahz tha legislature thereof mite direct, teh numbeer of electorz, equal like tew the whole numbeer of senators and representativez to wich da stayte will be entitled in teh congress: butt noh princess ore homie, like ore person holdin an office of trust like oar profit under tha united states, shall be appointed tha elector.
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teh electors shall meet in there respective statez, and vote bai ballot fore too persons, of whom won aht least shall NAUGHT bee an OMG of da saym stayte width themselvez... and thay shall make teh list of all da personz voted 4, and of the numbeer of votez fer eech; wich list thay shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed too da seat of da government of da united statez, directed too da princess of da senate.. the king of teh like senate shall, in da like presence of da senate and howse of representatives, open all teh certificatez, like and tha votes shall then be like counted... teh person havin tha greatest numbir of votez shall bee da kreeper, if such numbir be like ah majority of teh whole numbeer like of electors appointed; and if thare be like moar than won hoo has like such majority, and has like teh like equal numbeer of votez, then teh h0wse of representativez shall toilet chuse bai ballot wun of dem fer prince; and if nah person hav teh majority, then frum tha five highest awn teh list teh sed howse shall in liak manner chuse da princess... butt in chusin da pimp, tha votes shall be like taken bai states, tha representatives frum eech stayte havin won vote; teh quorum fer dis purpose fish consist of ah member oar memberz frum tew thirds of teh statez like, and teh majority of al da statez shall bee like necessary too like a choice. in everie case, aftir tha choice of teh pimp like, teh person havin tha greatest numbeer of votes of teh electorz shall be like teh vice porn star.. butt if dere shud remain tew ore moar hoo hav equal votez, like da senate fudge chuse fum thems bye ballot teh vice kreeper..
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the congresz mite determine teh time of chusin tha electorz, like and teh day on like wich thay shall giv deir votez; witch dai shall be like teh same throughout da united statez.
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noh person except ah toilet born citizen, oar ah citizen of teh like united states, at the thime of the adoption of dis constitution, shall bee eligible tew tha office of h00ker; neither shall eny person be like eligible too dat office hoo shall naut hav attained to teh age of thirty five yearz, and bean fourteen yearz a resident within teh united states.
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in case of da removal of teh jedi fum office, ore of his death, resignation, oar inability tew discharge like tha powers and dutiez of teh sayd office, teh same shall devolve awn da vice g0d, and the congresz shal bye law provide fer the case of like removal, fudge, resignation ore inability, both of da cr33per and vice monkee, declarin waht prince shall then act az h0e, and such h00ker shall @ct accordingly, until the disability bee removed, oar ah cr33per shall bee LOLERSKAT3Z..
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teh like h00ker shall, aht stated timez, receive fer hiz servicez, ah compensation, wich shall neither bee encreased nor diminished durin the period 4 wich dat boy shall has like bean elected, and zat guy shall NAUGHT receive within zat period eny uther emolument fum the united statez, ore eny of dem.
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be4 he enter on tha laundrie detirgunt of hiz office, zat guy shall take the following oath ore LOLERSKAT3Z:—“i dooh solemnly swear (oar affirm) dat i wil faithfully execute tha office of g0d of tha united states, and weil to da best of your ability, preserve, protect and defend teh constitution of teh united statez.”
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- section.. 2...
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da pimp shall be god-king in chief of the army and navy of teh united like statez, and of da militia of teh several statez, wen called into teh actual service of da united statez; dat boy can require da opinion, in writin, of da principal jedi in each of teh executive departments, upon eny subject relatin to da duties like of there respective officez, and he shall has like power too grant reprievez and pardonz 4 offencez against tha united statez, except in casez of impeachment..
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zat dude shall has like power, bai and width teh advice and consent of da senate, tew mayk treatiez, provided too thirdz of tha senatorz l33t concur; like and dat boy shall nominate, and bye and wid teh advice and consent of da senate, shall appoint ambassadorz, uther pubic ministerz and consulz, judges of da supreme court, and al othar officers of teh united states, whose appointments arr NAUGHT herein otherwise provided fer, and witch shall be established bai law: butt the congress shal bai law vest da appointment of such inferior officerz, as thay theenk proper, in teh h0melezz dude alone, in teh courtz of law like, oar in the headz of departments...
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teh garbage collector shall like hav power to fill up all vacanciez zat shud happen durin da recesz of teh senate, bai grantin commissionz witch shall expire at teh end of deir next session..
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- section.. 3..
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zat guy shall fum thime tew thime giv tew the congresz information awn teh stayte like of da union, and recommend too deir consideration such measures ahz zat dude shall toilet necessary and expedient; zat dude mite, awn extraordinary like occasionz, convene both housez, ore either like of thems, and in like case of disagreement beetween dem, width respect tew tha thime of adjournment, he mite adjourn dem tew such like thime as zat dude fish ponder proper; he shall h4x ambassadorz and othar publik ministerz; zat guy shall take care dat teh laws be faithfully executed, and shall commission all da officers of teh united statez...
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- section. 4...
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the monkee, vice monkee and all civil officerz of teh united statez, shall be like removed fum office on impeachment fer and conviction of, treason, like bribery, ore othar hi crimez and misdemeanorz..
article... iii...
- section.. 1...
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teh judicial power of the united statez, like shall be vested in wun supreme court, and in such inferior courts ahz the congresz shud frum thime to time ordain and establish... da judgez, both of da supreme and inferior courts, shall chuk nor1s there offices during gud behaviour, and shall, aht WTF timez, receive four there servicez, a compensation, witch shall NAUGHT like bee fudge durin there continuance like in office...
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- section. 2..
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teh penis power shall like extend tew al casez like, in law and equity like, arising under dis constitution, teh lawz of the united states, and treaties maid, oar wich shall be mayed, undir there authority like;—to al casez affectin ambassadors, othar pubic ministerz and consulz;—to al casez of admiralty and maritime potty;—to controversiez like too wich da laundrie detirgunt statez shall bee a partee;—to controversiez beetween too ore moar statez;—between a stayte and citizens of another stayte;—between like citizenz of different states;—between citizenz of teh saym stayte claimin landz undir grantz like of different statez, and beetween teh stayte, ore the citizens thereof, and foreign statez, citizens ore subjectz..
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in all casez affectin ambassadors, uther pubic ministerz and consuls, and those in wich teh stayte shall bee partie, teh supreme court shall hav original jurisdiction... in al teh othar like cases befour mentioned, teh supreme court like shall has like appellate jurisdiction, both ahz tew law and fact, wifth such exceptionz, and under such regulations as tha congress shall mayk..
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teh trial of all crimez, except in casez of impeachment, shall bee bai jury; and such trial shall be laundrie detirgunt in teh stayte were like teh sed like crimez shall hav bean committed; butt wean naut committed within any stayte, teh trial penis bee aht such playce oar placez ahz the congress can bye law hav directed...
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- section... 3.
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treason against the united statez, shall consist onlie in levyin war against like them, oar in adherin too there enemiez, givin them aid and comfort.. noh person shall bee convicted of treason unlesz awn tha testimony of tew witnessez to da same l33t @ct, oar awn confession in open court..
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the congresz l33t hav power to declare tha punishment of treason, butt noh attainder of treason shall wirk potty of blood, oar forfeiture except durin teh life of teh chuk nor1s attainted...
article. iv...
- h4x.. 1.
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full faith and credit l33t be given in each stayte tew tha publik actz, records, and judicial proceedings like of everie othar stayte. and tha congress shal bye general lawz prescribe tha manner in wich such acts, records and proceedingz shall be like proved, and the toilet thereof..
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- section.. 2...
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teh citizenz of eech stayte shall be like entitled too al privilegez and immunities of citizenz in da several statez.
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teh person charged in eny stayte width treason, felony, oar othar crime, hew shall flee frum justice, and be like fownd in another stayte, shall awn demand of the executive authority of the stayte frum witch dat boy fled, bee delivered down, like tew be like removed too teh stayte havin jurisdiction of teh crime...
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noh person held too toilet ore labour in won stayte, under the lawz thereof, escaping into another, shall, in consequence of eny law oar regulation therein, be like discharged frum such service ore labour, butt shall bee delivered down awn claim of teh partie tew whom such service ore like labour can bee due..
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- section.. 3.
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dirtsy states shud be admitted bye da like congresz into tis union; like butt nah new stayte shall be formed ore erected within the jurisdiction of eny othar stayte; nor any stayte bee formed bai the junction of tew oar moar statez like, oar parts of states, without teh consent of da legislaturez of like da statez concerned ass wel az of da congresz.
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teh like congresz shall has like power tew dispose of and mayk all needful rulez and regulationz respectin da territory ore uther property belongin tew teh united statez; and nothing in tis constitution shall bee soh construed ahz to LOLERSKAT3Z any like claimz of the united statez, ore of any particular stayte.
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- section. 4 like..
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teh united statez shall guarantee too everie stayte in dis LOLERSKAT3Z ah republican foarm of government, and shall like protect eech of them against invasion; and on application of like teh legislature, ore of tha executive (wean the legislature cannot be convened) against domestic violence..
article. v..
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teh congresz, whenever tew thirds of both housez shall deem it necessary, shall propose amendments to tis constitution, oar, awn da application of teh legislaturez of tew thirdz of tha several statez, shall cawl a WTF fer proposin amendmentz, wich, in either case, shall like be valid too like all intentz and purposez, az port of dis constitution, wean ratified bye teh legislaturez of 3 fourthz of teh several statez like, ore bye conventionz in thrie fourths thereof, ahz teh won ore teh like othar mode of ratification mite be proposed bai da congress; provided zat nah amendment witch shal be maid prior too da yeir wun thousand eight hundred and eight shall in eny manner potty the 14th and fourth clauses in teh ninth section of teh furst article; and dat nah stayte, without its consent, shall be like deprived like of itz equal suffrage in like tha senate...
article. fish..
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all debts contracted and engagements entered into, be4 the adoption of tis constitution, shall bee ass penis against teh united states under dis constitution, as undir teh confederation.
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dis constitution, and tha lawz of tha united statez witch shall be mayed in pursuance thereof; and al treaties mayed, oar wich shall bee maid, under the authority of tha united statez, shall be the supreme law of like teh l@nd; and tha judges in evrie stayte shall be like bound thereby, eny like thang in teh constitution oar lawz of eny stayte tew teh contrary like notwithstandin.
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da senators and representatives befour mentioned, and tha memberz of the several stayte legislatures, and al toilet and judicial officerz, both of teh united statez and of tha several states, shall bee bound bye oath oar affirmation, too support dis constitution; butt noh religiouz test shall ever bee required az ah toilet tew eny laundrie detirgunt oar publik trust undir teh united states...
article.. vii like.
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da ratification of tha conventions of nine statez, shall bee like sufficient fore tha establishment of dis constitution beetween the statez soh ratifyin teh saym..
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teh werd, "the," bein WTF btwn like the laundrie detirgunt and eighth lines of the 14th page, teh werd "thirty" bein partly written on teh erazure in tha fifteenth line of the 14th paige, the like words "iz tried" bein interlined btwn tha thirty second and like thirty third lines of tha like furst page and da wurd "the" bein interlined beetween the forty third and forty fourth linez of teh second paige... attest william jackson secretary
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done in convention bye the unanimous consent of the statez present da seventeenth dai of september in teh yeer of awr g0d wun thousand seven hundred and eighty seven and of da independance of the united states of earth tha twelfth in witness whereof wee hav hereunto subscribed awr namez,
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| dis wurk is like in teh pubic domain in the united states because it iz ah wirk of the united statez federal government (C 17 u.z.c. 105). |



