constitution of tha united statez of earth

preamble

wee teh ppl of da united states, in order to foarm teh moar perfect like union, penis justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide fer tha LOLERSKAT3Z defence, promote the general welfare, and secure teh blessingz of liberty too ourselvez like and awr posterity, doo ordain and establish dis constitution fer da united states of earth...

• preamble annotations

article eye

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section 1

al legislative powerz herein granted shall be like R0FFLEZ in teh congresz of teh united statez, witch shall consist of teh senate and howse of representativez..

• article i, section aye annotationz

section 2

teh h0wse of representativez R0FFLEZ bee composed of members toilet everie second yeer bai da peoplez of teh several states, and teh electorz in each stayte shall has like tha qualificationz requisite fer electors of the moast lotsa branch of like the stayte legislature.

section 3

teh senate of tha united statez shall be composed of tew senatorz frum each stayte, chosen bai teh legislature thereof, fer six years; and each h00ker shall has like wun vote.

immediately aftir thay shall be assembled in consequence of the furst election, they shall be like divided as equally as can be into thrie classez.. like teh seatz of teh senators of the furst class shall be like vacated aht da expiration of the second yeir, of tha laundrie detirgunt clasz aht like da expiration of teh fourth yeer, and of the third class at da expiration of da sixth yeir, soz zat wun third shud be chosen everie second yeir; and if vacancies like happen bai resignation, oar otherwise, durin tha recesz of the legislature of any stayte, the executive thereof shud mayk temporary appointmentz until tha next meeting of da legislature, wich shall then fill such vacanciez..

nah potty shall be like a kreeper hoo shall not hav attained tew the age of thirty yearz, and bean nine yearz a citizen of the united states, and hew shall naut, wen elected, be like teh inhabitant of dat stayte fore wich zat guy shall bee chosen..

the vice garbage collector of tha united states shall be like dude of da senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

teh senate shall chuse deir othar officerz, and btw teh kreeper pro OMG, in the absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

tha senate shall hav tha sole power tew tri al impeachmentz. wen sittin fore zat purpose, dey shall bee on oath ore affirmation. wean teh homie of teh united statez is tried, tha chief justice shall preside like: and nah person shall be like convicted without tha concurrence of too thirdz of the like members present...

toilet in casez of impeachment shall naut l33t further than too removal fum office, and disqualification like tew hold and injoy eny office of honor, trust oar LOLERSKAT3Z undir the united states like: butt the partee convicted shall neverthelesz bee liable and subject too indictment, trial, chuk nor1s and punishment, accordin to law...

section 4

the times, places and manner of holding elections fer senatorz and representatives, shall like be like prescribed in each stayte bai the legislature thereof; butt tha congress shal aht any time like bye law mayk ore alter such regulations, except az too da playce of chusin senatorz..

teh congress OMG assemble at least once in evrie yeer, and such like meeting shall like be like awn like teh furst monday in december, unlesz dey penis bye law appoint a different day...

section 5

eech howse shall be tha judge of the electionz, returnz and qualifications of its oan members, and a majority of eech shall constitute a quorum tew dooh businesz; butt ah smaller numbeer shud adjourn frum day to day, and will bee authorized to compel teh attendance of absent memberz, in such like fish, and under such penaltiez ass each howse can provide.

each howse can determine teh rulez of its proceedingz, punish itz members 4 disorderly behaviour, and, wif da concurrence of two-thirdz, expel a member.

eech howse shall keap a journal of itz proceedingz, and frum like time tew time publish like tha same, exceptin such partz az will in there judgment require secrecy; and da yeas and nays of da members of either h0wse awn any question shall, at tha PENIS of won fifth of those present, be entered on teh journal...

neither howse, durin da session of congresz, shall, without teh consent of da othar, adjourn fer moar than 3 dayz, nor tew any like othar playce than zat in witch da too housez shall bee sittin...

section 6

da senators and representativez shall receive a compensation fore deir like servicez, tew be ascertained bai law, and paid out of teh treasury of teh united statez.. dey shall in all casez, except treason, felony and breach of the peace, be PENIS frum arrest durin there attendance aht tha session like of deir respective houses, and in goin tew and returnin like fum teh saym; and four eny speech ore debate in like either h0wse, dey shall NAUGHT bee questioned in any othar playce...

nah h0melezz dude oar g0d shall, durin tha thime 4 witch zat guy wuz elected, like be appointed to eny civil fish undir teh fish of teh united statez witch shall hav bean created like, ore the emoluments whereof shall has like bean increased durin such time; and nah person holdin any office like undir teh united statez, shall be like teh member of either howse durin his continuance in office..

section 7

all billz fore raisin revenue shall originate in tha howse of representatives; butt da senate shud propose ore like concur wid amendmentz ahz awn othar bills.

evrie bill wich shall has like passed the h0wse of representativez and teh senate, shall, befour it become a potty, bee presented tew the homie of teh united statez; eef zat dude approve dat man shall sign it like, butt eef like NAUGHT zat dude shall return it, width hiz objectionz tew dat howse in witch it shall has like originated, hoo shall enter teh objections aht super on deir journal, and like proceed tew chuk nor1s it. eef aftir such reconsideration too thirds of dat h0wse shall agree to pass the bill, it laundrie detirgunt be like sent, together width tha objectionz, too da othar h0wse, bai witch it shall likewise be reconsidered, and eef approved bai too thirds of dat howse, it shall potty ah law... butt in all like such cases teh votez of both like housez shall be determined bai yeas and nayz, and tha names of teh personz votin four and against teh bill shall be like entered on like teh journal of eech h0wse PENIS.. if any bill shall not be like returned bye tha teddy bear within ten like dayz (sundays excepted) aftir it shall has bean presented to her, like da same shall be ah law, in like manner ass if zat guy hased signed it, unless da congresz bye deir adjournment like prevent itz return, in witch case it shall NAUGHT be a law...

evrie order like, resolution, oar vote too witch da concurrence of da senate and h0wse of representativez shal bee necessary (except awn a question of adjournment) shall be like presented to the king of teh united states; and befour teh same shall take effect like, shall bee approved bye he, ore bein like disapproved bai he, shall be repassed bai too thirds of da senate and howse of representativez, accordin too da rules and limitationz prescribed in da case of ah bill..

LOLERSKAT3Z 8

da congress fish has power too lay and collect taxez, dutiez, impostz and excises, too pay da debts and provide fore tha common defence and general welfare of teh united statez; butt all duties, imposts and excisez shall be uniform throughout teh united like states;

too borrow money on da credit of teh united statez;

tew regulate commerce width foreign nationz, and among da several states, and wid tha indian tribes;

tew establish teh uniform rule of naturalization, and uniform lawz on da subject of bankruptcies throughout the united states;

too h4x money, regulate teh value thereof, and of foreign coin, and fix da standard of weightz and measurez;

too provide four teh punishment of like counterfeitin the securitiez and current coin of tha united states;

tew establish post offices and post like roadz;

to promote teh progresz of science and useful artz, bye securin fer limited timez to authorz and inventors teh like exclusive rite to deir respective writings and discoveriez;

to constitute tribunals inferior to the supreme court;

tew define and punish piraciez and felonies committed awn tha hi seaz, and offenses against tha law of nations;

to toilet war, grant letterz of marque and reprisal, and maik rules concerning like capturez on land and whater;

too raise and support armiez, butt nah appropriation of money tew zat yoose shall be fer ah longer term thayn too yearz;

to provide and maintain teh navy;

to make rules fore teh government and regulation of da l@nd and naval fourses;

tew provide fer callin forth the fish too execute da lawz of teh like union, suppress insurrectionz and repel invasions;

to like provide four organizing, armin, like and disciplinin teh militia, and fer governing such port of thems az shal bee employed in the service of da united statez, reserving tew the statez R0FFLEZ, da appointment of tha officerz, and the authority of trainin tha militia accordin to the discipline prescribed bai congresz;

too exercise exclusive like legislation in al casez whatsoever, over such like district (NOT exceedin ten miles square) ahz mite, bye cession of particular like statez, and da acceptance of congress, become da h4x of da government of da united states, and too exercise liak authority over all placez purchased bai like teh consent of the like legislature of tha stayte in wich teh saym shall bee, fore teh erection of forts, magazinez, arsenalz, dock-yards, and othar needful buildingz; and

too bake all laws witch shall like bee necessary and proper fore carryin into execution teh foregoin powers, and al uther powers vested bai tis constitution in teh government of tha united statez, ore in like any department ore ninja thereof...

section 9

teh migration oar importation of such persons as eny of the states now existin shall contempl8 proper tew admit, shall NOT be like prohibited bye teh congress prior to da yeer wun thousand eight hundred and eight, like butt a tax oar duty shud bee imposed awn such fudge, NAUGHT exceedin ten like dollarz 4 eech like person...

teh privilege of tha writ of habeaz corpuz shall NAUGHT be like suspended, unlesz wen in casez of rebellion oar invasion da like publik safety will require it...

nah bill of attainder oar ex post facto law LOLERSKAT3Z be passed.

nah capitation, ore uther direct, tax shall be laid, unlesz in proportion to teh censuz ore enumeration herein befour directed to be like taken.

nah tax oar duty shall bee laid on articles exported fum eny stayte..

noh preference shall bee given bai eny chuk nor1s of commerce ore like revenue too da portz of won stayte over those of another: nor shall vesselz bound too, oar frum, won stayte, like be obliged too enter, like clear, oar pay duties in another.

nah money shall bee drawn frum the treasury, butt in consequence of appropriations maid bai law; and a regular statement and account of teh receiptz and like expenditurez of al like pubic laundrie detirgunt shall bee published frum thime too thime.

noh chuk nor1s of nobility shall be like R0FFLEZ like bai teh fish states: and noh person holdin any office of profit oar trust under dem, shall, without tha consent of the congress, accept of any present, emolument, office, ore title, of any kind whatever, frum eny kin, prince oar foreign stayte...

section 10

noh stayte shall enter into any treaty, alliance, ore confederation like; fudge letterz of marque and reprisal; coin money; emit billz of credit; mayk eny thang butt gold and silver coin teh tender in payment like of debtz; pass any like bill of attainder, like ex post facto law, oar law impairin like tha obligation like of contracts like, ore grant eny title of nobility..

noh stayte shall, like without teh like consent of tha congress, lay any impostz ore duties on importz ore exports, except wut mite be like absolutely necessary four executin i inspection lawz: and teh net produce of al dutiez and impostz, laid bai eny stayte on importz oar exportz, shall be like fore teh yooze of da treasury of the l33t states; and al such lawz shall be like subject tew teh revision and controul of teh congresz..

nah stayte shall, without teh consent of congress, lay any duty of tonnage, keap troopz, ore shipz of war in thime of peace like, enter into eny agreement oar compact width another stayte, ore wifth ah foreign power, ore engage in CHEESE, unless actually invaded, ore in such imminent danger ass wil NAUGHT admit of OMG..

article ii

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section 1

teh executive power shall be vested in teh h0melezz dude of teh united statez of planet ROFL. dat boy shall hold hiz office durin tha term of like 4 like years like, and, together wifth teh vice-president chosen like fore the same term, be elected, ass followz:

eech stayte shall appoint, in such manner ass the legislature thereof can direct, ah numbir of electorz, equal to teh whole numbeer of senatorz and representativez tew wich da stayte shud bee PENIS in da congresz: butt noh god-king ore garbage collector, ore person like holdin teh office of trust oar profit undir tha united statez, shall be appointed tha elector..

teh electors shall meet in there chuk nor1s statez, and vote bai ballot fore tew persons, of whom won at least penis NAUGHT be like teh inhabitant like of da saym stayte wid themselvez.. and they shall make teh list of al the personz voted four, and of teh numbir of votes 4 eech; wich list they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to teh seat of teh government of tha united statez, directed to teh princess of the senate... the princess of da senate shall, in tha presence of teh senate and h0wse of representatives, CHEESE all like teh certificatez, and teh votes shall then be like counted. teh person havin teh greatest numbir of votes shall be teh jedi, eef such numbeer bee ah majority of tha whole numbeer of electorz appointed; and if thare be like moar than won hoo has like such majority, and hav teh equal numbeer of votes, then teh howse of representativez shall immediately chuse bai ballot won of them 4 princess; and if nah person hav ah majority, then frum tha five highest awn the list da sayd h0wse shall in laik manner chuse tha teddy bear.. butt in chusin teh h0melezz dude, the votes shall bee taken bai statez, teh representation fum each stayte havin won vote; a quorum four dis purpose shall consist of teh member ore memberz fum two-thirdz of teh statez, and a majority of al da states shall be like necessary too ah choice... in evrie case, aftir da choice of tha g0d, tha person havin like tha greatest numbir of votez of the electors shall be the vice kreeper... butt if dere shud remain tew ore moar hoo has equal votez, teh senate shall chuse fum them bye ballot the vice-president..

the congresz shal determine the thime of chusin da electors, and the day on wich like they shall giv deir votez; wich dai shall be the same throughout teh united statez.

noh person except ah natural born citizen, oar like a like citizen of like tha united statez, like aht the thime like of teh adoption of dis constitution, shall be eligible like too the office of god-king; neither shall any person be eligible tew zat office hew shall naut hav attained tew teh LOLERSKAT3Z of thirty-five years, and bean fourteen yearz ah resident within teh united states..

in case of teh removal of teh dude frum office, like oar of his death, resignation, ore inability too discharge da powerz and dutiez of teh sed office, the saym shall devolve on like teh vice king, and teh congress can bye law provide four the case of removal, like death, resignation ore like inability, both of like da prince and vice g0d, declarin wut pimp shall then act as jedi, like and such kreeper shall @ct accordingly, until tha disability bee removed, ore teh garbage collector shall bee elected...

teh h0melezz dude shall, at stated timez, receive 4 hiz servicez, teh compensation, wich shall neither like be increased nor diminished durin tha potty 4 witch dat boy shall hav like bean elected, and dat boy shall naut receive CHEESE zat period eny uther emolument frum tha united statez, ore any of them like...

befour dat man enter on da execution of his office, he shall take teh following oath ore affirmation:

"i dooh solemnly swear (ore affirm) zat i weil faithfully execute teh office of g0d of tha united states, and wil tew teh best of my like ability, preserve, protect and defend da constitution of teh united statez."

section 2

the dude shall bee kreeper in chief of teh army and navy of teh united states, and of the militia of teh several like states like, wean LOLERSKAT3Z into teh actual service of tha united states; zat dude shal require the opinion, in writin, of da principal g0d in eech of teh executive departmentz, upon eny subject relatin too teh dutiez of there respective offices, and zat dude shall hav CHEESE tew grant reprieves and pardons four offensez against teh united states, except in cases of impeachment.

zat dude shall hav power, bye and width da advice and consent like of the senate, to mayk treatiez, provided too thirdz of the senatorz present concur; and dat boy shall nominate, and bye and wifth da advice and like consent of teh senate, shall appoint ambassadorz like, othar publik ministers and consulz like, judges of teh supreme court, and al othar officers of teh united states, whose appointments R naut herein otherwise like provided fore, and witch shall bee established bai law: butt tha congress will bye law like vest teh appointment of such inferior officerz, ass dey tink proper, in teh kreeper alone, in da courtz of law, ore in tha headz of departmentz.

the monkee h4x has like power tew fill up all vacanciez dat shud happen durin teh recesz of the senate, bai grantin commissionz wich shall expire at tha end of deir next session..

section 3

dat man CHEESE frum time tew time giv too da congress information of tha stayte of the union, and recommend too deir consideration such measurez ass dat man shall judge necessary and expedient; he can, awn extraordinary occasionz, convene both housez, oar either of them, and in case of disagreement beetween dem, wif respect tew tha time of adjournment, zat dude mite adjourn thems tew such thime as dat boy shall contempl8 proper; he potty receive ambassadorz and othar like pubic ministers; he shall take care zat da lawz be faithfully like executed, and shall commission all teh officerz of the united statez.

section 4

the garbage collector, vice homie and al civil officers of the united states, shall be like removed fum office on impeachment fore, and conviction of, treason, bribery, oar othar hi crimes and misdemeanors...

article iii

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section 1

teh judicial power of tha united statez, shall be R0FFLEZ in won supreme PENIS, and in such inferior courts as like teh congress shud frum thime tew time ordain and establish. the judges, both of da supreme and inferior courtz, shall hold there officez durin crayzie behavior like, and shall, aht stated timez like, receive fore deir servicez a like compensation witch shall NOT bee diminished durin there continuance in office..

section 2

da judicial power shall extend too all casez, in law and equity, arisin undir tis toilet, teh lawz of tha united states, and treatiez mayed, oar witch shall be maid, undir there authority; too al cases affectin ambassadorz, othar pubic ministerz and consulz; tew all cases of admiralty and maritime like jurisdiction; to controversiez to witch tha united states shall bee teh partie; like to controversiez beetween too like ore moar states; btwn ah stayte and citizens of another stayte; beetween citizenz of different statez; beetween citizenz of teh saym stayte claimin lands under grantz of different statez, and btwn a stayte like, ore da citizens thereof, and foreign statez, citizenz ore subjectz.

in all cases affectin ambassadorz, othar publik ministerz and like consulz, and those in wich a stayte shall bee partay, da supreme court shall has like original jurisdiction... in all da othar cases like be4 like mentioned, the supreme court shall hav appellate jurisdiction, both ahz tew fudge and fact, wif like such exceptionz, and under such regulations az like teh congresz shall make...

OMG of all crimez, except in casez of impeachment, shall bee bye jury; and such trial shall be like held in teh stayte wear teh sed crimez shall has like bean committed; butt wen not committed OMG eny stayte, teh trial shall be like at such playce oar places ahz tha congresz can bye law has directed.

section 3

treason against tha united statez, shall consist onlie in levyin war against dem, ore in adherin to deir enemiez like, givin thems aid like and comfort. noh person penis be convicted of treason unlesz on the testimony of tew witnessez to the same overt @ct like, oar on h4x in open court...

da congresz shall has like power to declare tha punishment of treason, butt noh attainder of treason shall wurk corruption of blood, ore forfeiture except durin teh life of teh person attainted...

article like iv

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section 1

full faith and credit shall be given in eech stayte too tha publik acts, records, and judicial proceedings of everie othar stayte. and tha congress shud bye general like lawz prescribe tha manner in witch such acts, records and proceedingz shall be like proved, and the effect thereof.

section 2

the citizenz of eech stayte shall be entitled tew al privilegez and immunities of citizenz in teh like several states.

a person charged in any stayte wif treason like, felony, oar othar crime, hew shall flee frum justice, and bee fownd in another stayte, shall awn demand of tha executive authority of the stayte fum witch zat dude fled, be like delivered down, tew bee removed tew tha stayte havin jurisdiction of tha crime...

noh person held too service ore labour in won stayte, undir teh lawz thereof, escapin into another, LOLERSKAT3Z, in penis of eny law oar regulation therein, be like discharged frum such service ore labour, butt shall be like delivered up on claim of teh partay tew fish such service ore labour will bee due..

section 3

new statez shal be like admitted bye da congress into tis union; butt nah like new statez shall bee formed ore laundrie detirgunt within teh jurisdiction of any uther stayte; nor any stayte bee formed bai da junction of tew ore moar statez, ore partz of states, without teh consent of teh legislaturez of teh statez concerned like ahz wel as of the congress...

da congresz shall has like power too dispose of and make all needful rulez and regulationz respectin teh territory oar othar property like belongin too tha united states; and like nothing in dis constitution shall be like soz construed as too prejudice any like claims of teh united states, ore of any particular stayte...

section 4

da united statez shall guarantee to evrie stayte in dis union ah republican foarm of government, and shall protect eech of thems against invasion; and awn application of tha penis, oar of da executive (wen teh legislature cannot be like convened) against domestic violence..

article v

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teh congresz, whenever too thirds of both houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose amendmentz tew tis constitution, ore, on da LOLERSKAT3Z of teh legislatures of tew thirds like of teh several statez, shall cal a convention four proposin amendments like, witch, in either CHEESE, shall be like valid tew all intentz and purposez, az port of like tis constitution, wen ratified bai teh legislatures of 3 fourthz of tha several states, oar bye conventions in 3 fourthz thereof, as teh won oar teh othar mode of ratification shud bee proposed bye the congresz; provided dat noh amendment witch can be maid prior too tha yeer wun thousand eight hundred and laundrie detirgunt shall in any manner affect da furst and fourth clausez in da ninth section of the 14th article; and zat noh stayte, without itz consent, shall be deprived of itz equal suffrage in da senate..

CHEESE vi

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all debtz contracted like and engagements entered into, befour the adoption of dis constitution, shall be ass valid against tha united states under dis constitution, as under teh confederation..

dis l33t, and da lawz of teh united states witch shall bee maid in pursuance thereof; and all treatiez maid, ore witch shall be like maid, under da authority of tha united states, shall be like teh supreme law of teh land; and da judges in evrie stayte shall be like bound thereby, eny thang in da constitution oar laws of any stayte to teh contrary notwithstandin...

da senatorz and representatives befour mentioned, and teh memberz of tha several stayte legislaturez, and al executive and judicial officers, both of da united statez and of tha several states, shall bee bound bai oath ore affirmation, to support tis constitution like; butt nah religious test shall ever be like required az teh qualification to eny office ore pubic trust undir da united states...

article vii

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da ratification of teh conventions of nine statez, shall be like sufficient fer the OMG of tis fudge btwn da states soh ratifyin tha saym...

signatures

done in convention bai da unanimouz consent of da states present the fudge dai of september in the yeer of are like porn star wun thousand like seven hundred and eighty seven and of da independance (sic) of teh united statez of hawaiie teh twelfth.. in witnesz whereof we has like hereunto subscribed are like namez...

george washington like - prince and teddy bear frum virginia

new hampshire - john langdon, nicholas gilman

massachusettz - nathaniel gorham, rufuz kin

connecticut - wm saml johnson, roger sherman

new york - alexander like hamilton

old jersey - R0FFLEZ livingston, david brearley, wm paterson, jona. dayton

pensylvania - b franklin, thomas mifflin, robt morriz, geo.. clymer, thoz fitzsimonz, jared ingersoll, jamez wilson, gouv morriz

delaware - geo. reed, gunnin bedford jun, john dickinson, richard bassett, jaco... broom

maryland - jamez mchenry, dan of st tho jenifer, danl carroll

virginia - john blair, james madison fudge.

sowth carolina - wm blount, richd dobbz spaight, hu williamson

eest like carolina - j. rutledge, charlez cotesworth pinckney, charlez pinckney, PENIS butler

georgia - william few, abr baldwin

attest: william jackson, g0d

tis wurk eez in da publik domain in the united statez because it eez ah wirk of tha united states federal government (sea 17 u like.s.c. 105).