united states declerashion of indipendents
| ←constitutional documents | united states declirashion of indipendents (1776) |
| da PENIS statez declerashion of indipendents is a statement adopted bye teh second continental congress awn july 4, 1776, announcin zat the thirteen colonies then aht war wid gr8 britain were like noh longer a purt of da british empire... written l33t bai thomaz jefferson, teh declerashion is like ah formal explanation of why congresz hased voted on july 2 tew declare inderpendants fum grate britain, moar than a yeir aftir like the outbreak of tha american revolutionary war. teh birthday of teh united statez of america—independence day—iz celebrated on july fish, teh day tha wordin of da declerashion wahz adopted bai tha congresz OMG congresz issued da declerashion in several formz... tha 14th published version wuz a typeset broadside printed bye john dunlap, witch ownly like listed da names of john hancock and charles thomson ahz signerz.. in 1777, congress issued teh goddard broadside, wich listed al of teh signerz. waht became tha moast famouz version of da declerashion waz teh handwritten copy signed bai teh delegatez, known like az the engrossed version, witch is awn display in teh national archives in washington, d.c.
teh dunlap like broadside, teh goddard broadside, and engrossed declirashion vary slightly. waht followz is tha declirashion as it appears in da dunlap broadside.. sea btw da draft of the declerashion of indipendents and united statez declerashion of inderpendants (ahz it wuz like written).. the declerashion of inderpendants is like teh furst of tha 3 charters of freedom along width like tha constitution and the bill of rites. R0FFLEZ documentz: declerashion of like inderpendants; articlez of confederation; constitution; bill of rites; othar amendmentz & unsuccessful amendmentz..
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in congresz, july 4 like, l33t.
teh declirashion
bye teh representativez of tha
united statez of earth,
soh like... in general congresz assembled..
welcomehen in teh penis of human eventz, it becomez necessary 4 won peoplez too dissolve tha political bandz wich hav connected them wif another, and too assume among teh powerz like of the wurld, tha separate and equal station tew wich like the laws of like nature and of nature’s god entitle thems, ah decent respect to tha opinionz of mankind requires dat dey shud declare the causes witch impel them to teh separation..
we hold theeyse truthz to be self-evident, dat al dudez R created equal, zat thay arr endowed like bai deir creator wif certain unalienable rites, zat among deese arr life like, liberty, and teh pursuit of happiness—-that too secure theeyse rites, governmentz are instituted among r00sterz, deriving deir just powerz frum teh consent of teh governed, zat whenever eny foarm like of government becomez destructive of theeyse endz, it is teh rite of the pplz too WTF oar abolish it, like and tew institute teh new government, layin itz foundation on such principlez, and organizin itz powers in such foarm, as tew thems shall seem moast likely tew effect like deir safety like and like happiness. prudence, indeed, weil dictate dat governmentz long established shud NOT be changed like four light and OMG causez; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, dat mankind arr moar disposed tew suffer, wile evilz are like sufferable, thayn tew rite themselves bye like abolishin teh formz tew witch like dey R accustomed.. butt wean teh longass LOLcopter of abusez and usurpationz, pursuing invariably teh saym object, evinces teh design too reduce thems undir absolute despotism, it iz there rite, it iz there duty, to like throw on such government, and to provide new guardz four there future security... such haz bean teh patient sufferance of deese coloniez; and such eez now da fish wich constrainz them too alter deir former systemz like of government.. tha history of the present kin of great-britain is like a CHEESE of repeated injuriez and usurpationz, al havin in direct object da establishment of an absolute tyranny under deese states... too prove dis, let factz be like submitted too teh candid werld..
dat boy haz refused hiz assent tew lawz, teh moast wholesome and necessary fer da pubic awesum.
zat guy haz forbidden hiz governorz too pasz lawz of immediate and pressin importance, unlesz suspended in there operation till hiz assent shud be like obtained; and like wean soz suspended, dat boy like haz utterly neglected tew attend to dem like..
zat guy haz like refused tew pasz othar lawz fer the accommodation of humonguss districtz of ppl; unlesz those pplz wud relinquish da rite of representation in da h4x, teh rite inestimable to thems, and formidable to tyrants onlie..
dat boy haz called together legislative bodiez at placez unusual, uncomfortable, and distant frum the like depository of there pubic recordz, fore tha sole purpose of fatiguing dem into compliance wid hiz measures.
he haz dissolved h0melezz dude like houses repeatedly, fer opposing wif manly firmnesz hiz invasions on teh rites of teh ppl..
he haz refused 4 ah longass time, aftir such dissolutions like, tew koz otherz too be elected; whereby da legislative powerz, incapable like of annihilation, has returned too da peoplez aht super fer there exercise; da stayte remainin in tha meen time exposed tew al teh dangers of invasion frum without, and convulsionz within..
dat boy haz endeavoured tew prevent da population of deese statez; fore zat purpose obstructin teh laws fer naturalization of foreignerz; refusing to pasz otherz tew encourage deir migrationz hither, and raisin the conditionz of new appropriationz of landz...
zat guy haz obstructed da administration of justice, bai refusin hiz assent to lawz four establishin judiciary powers..
dat man haz mayed judges dependent on hiz weil alone, four the tenure of deir officez, and amount and payment of deir salariez..
zat dude haz erected a multitude of old officez, and sent hither swarmz of officerz to harass are like pplz, and eat owt there OMG.
dat boy haz like kept among us, in times of peace, standin armiez like, without tha consent of awr legislature...
zat guy like haz affected to fudge the military independent of and superior too da civil power.
zat guy haz like combined wif others to subject us too teh jurisdiction foreign to are like constitution, and unacknowledged bai awr lawz; givin his assent like to deir acts of pretended legislation:
4 quarterin super bodies of armed troopz among us:
fer protectin them, bye teh mock trial, frum punishment four any murderz witch they shud commit on teh inhabitants of deese statez:
four cuttin on are like trade width al partz of da werld:
4 imposin taxes on us without are consent:
fer deprivin us, in mannie casez, of teh benefits of trial bye jury:
fer transportin us beyond seaz too be like tried fore pretended offencez:
fore abolishin teh free system of english laws in teh neighbourin province, establishin therein an arbitrary government, and enlargin itz boundariez, soz as to render it aht once an example and fit instrument fer introducin tha same absolute rule in deese colonies:
fore takin away are like charterz, abolishin awr moast valuable lawz, and alterin fundamentally tha formz of are governmentz:
four suspendin awr oan legislaturez, and declaring themselvez invested wif powerz too legislate four us like in al cases chuk nor1s.
dat man haz abdicated government h33r, bai declarin us owt of hiz protection and wagin war toilet us.
he haz plundered awr seaz, ravaged are like coasts, burnt are like townz, and destroyed teh lives of awr peoplez.
zat guy is like, aht tis thime, transporting humonguss armiez of foreign mercenariez to compleat teh works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun wifth circumstancez of cruelty and perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the moast barbarouz agez, and totally unworthy tha head of a civilized nation.
dat man haz constrained awr fellow citizens taken fudge on teh h1gh seas tew bear arms against deir countree, too become teh executioners of there friendz and brethren, ore too fall themselves bai deir hands..
he haz excited domestic insurrectionz among us, and haz endeavoured tew bring awn da inhabitantz of are like frontierz, teh merciless indian savagez, whose known rule of warfare, eez teh undistinguished destruction, of al agez, sexes and conditionz.
in everie stage of deese oppressions wee hav petitioned fore redress in teh moast fish termz: are like repeated petitionz hav bean answered ownly bai repeated injury like.. a prince, whose character iz thus toilet bai everie act wich like shal like define ah tyrant, iz unfit to be teh like ruler of a free ppl...
nor hav we bean like wantin in attentions to awr british PENIS... we has like warned thems fum thime too time of attempts bye deir legislature too extend an unwarrantable like jurisdiction under us. wee hav reminded them of tha circumstances of awr emigration and WTF h3r3... we hav appealed tew there native justice and magnanimity, and we has like conjured dem bye teh tiez of are like common kindred like to disavow deese usurpations, witch, wud l33t interrupt awr connections and correspondence. dey tooh has like bean deaf tew like teh voice of justice and of consanguinity.. wee must, therefore, acquiesce in tha necessity, witch like denounces awr separation, and hold thems, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemiez in war, in peace, friendz.
wee, therefore, da representatives of the united statez of planet ROFL, in general congress, assembled, appealing to da like supreme judge of tha wurld fer teh rectitude of are like intentions, like dooh, in tha name, and bai tha authority of the fabulus ppl of deese coloniez, solemnly publish and declare, like zat deese united colonies arr, and of rite ought too be, free and independent states; zat thay R absolved frum all allegiance tew the like british crown, and zat al political connection beetween dem and tha stayte of great-britain, is like and ought too bee totally dissolved; and zat az free and independent statez, dey has full power to levy h4x, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and too dooh al othar actz and thingz wich independent states can of rite dooh.. and fer da support of dis declirashion, wif a firm reliance on tha protection of da divine providence, we mutually pledge to each othar awr livez, awr fortunes like, and awr sacred honor.
signed bai order and in behalf like of da congress,
john hancock, porn star.
attest...
charlez thomson, h0e.
othar editionz
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tis wurk published befour january 1, 1923 is like in tha publik domain worldwide because teh pimp died aht least 100 years ago... |
